Before the foundation of the world

I remember a time...

Before the foundation of the world, I sat there in the heavens, basking in His presence and knowing it for eternity as my home. I observed all that was being created by my Father, having myself been created out of a spark in His eye. I knew nothing but pure love and joy and righteousness in the courts of the Lord.

I watched as the beautiful blue globe withdrew further and further away from Him, into the darkness, men in compelling and violent awe of the power of free will given to them. His firstborn turning away even from Him, exhausted from the distance and desirous of the convenient pleasure around them. I watched as the Father wept, and experienced the most sorrowful yearning to ever be felt by anyone, but could not be consoled. He knew he had to feel it. All of us could not bear His heart to be broken. Even then, He was very deliberate in all of His actions, and threw a celebration in the heavens, as He sent His Son down to fulfill the mission of His heart. Even in the place outside of time, we could never cease to be in loving awe of this Entity, the Creator and source of life. It was not possible. The fullness was always understood and accepted.

One morning, I boldly asked the Lord to send me to carry His light onto the lonely ball.

"But they want to know You, they MUST! They just don't know it yet. You can do anything, Father, your heart must be known to all. It is finished!"

"My child, it is a long and weary journey. The message is joyful and my Spirit with you, but the atmosphere will almost kill you. As long as you carry only My burden and walk in my presence, nothing will harm you. Do you want to? You may be tempted to forsake Me"

Perhaps I was eager already, and rushed forward. Perhaps I was excited for the journey, a bit curious but also full of the hope of His glory.

He trusted me, with His message to the world. I was naive, but He knew it was my naivety that was gentle enough to preserve, and the boldness that would see it to the end. Did I have a doubt in my mind? Did I even hesitate? I could never imagine what existence would be like apart from His presence..."I am always with you, I always love you, I always will, as long as I AM," He would tell me but I couldn't fully understand what "always" meant.

I would go through indescribable lengths to remember Him, and He to pursue me...

One thing I know now for sure is that I would have never known Love as much as I do, had I never asked to be born into a world without it.