Time for a New Mind

I'm stained my mind
How long that stayed there, I don't know
But it's taken a while to stick around

I want a new one

A truer mirror

There are endless loops in infinity

So it goes,

A dream I once had, plays over

another dream I once had before, I froze

But I see again my reflection

In a tortured soul like your own,

I see myself deja vu

In yours Staring black tea-stained eyes like mine

hearing the same words I've heard before

Ago, ago, and agos

Why do you revisit me, my old soul?

Through another, like you always would, You would

Reiterate my words, my wounds, my wars

Why do you search for yourself in my soul,

You other?

Feeling, Lord, bring healing to our souls.

Restore us unto the image which we bear

In truth, in Your story

Don't be worried, please. don't be sorry

My brother, my sister, my foe

His image is yours, you are His glory, it is yours.

To behold

FIGHT the urge to judge; she is finding her own canvas

Jesus

Lost in Her Mind

can we find her? the beautiful one

she's nowhere to be found

she's the little one who's gotten lost inside her own mind

I want a friend that sees the freedom that I do

I'm no schizo but a pro

I'm revisiting an old site, filled with land mines

They are silent when they sting

but triumphant as a fearless foe

I've begun to reintroduce to myself the

revelations of old, the Renaissance of reinvention

Renovated the dollar bill

into a sacred mold.

A cipher I've decided,

She is a silent pro

digy diligent, masking her authority

Mindscapes and heroine capes

Flying through a ferocious escape

makes no mistakes

breaks former fakes

Because I'm not lying about my mental escapades.

Just hidden too far down

but eventually find my laugh, spirit-filled.

Glory to the Host

I've witnessed a barrage of westerners

Winging their way into a self-glorified state

of accomplishment,

But they haven't yet dealt with the histories

which their empire is built upon

the bloodstain cries of massacres

And exploitation.

I'm a raw mind now, but these are ideas

you've never thought of

yet

Until they become PROFITABLE to you.

(I'm speaking now) To the host.

Don't it always happen this way.

Anger is a Secondary Emotion

Fine, I'm angry enough to change

I'm settled enough to jump off

I'm free enough to cry

Finally, I'm being myself again.

we're all the same

I'm not that different from you

but you are different from me

I'm not who you think I am

but you are who you think you are What makes

us different from anyone else on the planet?

That one ill girl, she had rashes on her mind

But you still feel she is less than you

You fools

There are no original ideas

Only a perverted sense of ego

a Fair Trade

sometimes, I feel cheated.

that the only

thing I got out of

years

of agony

and hidden

pain

is compassion but then I

remember

that compassion is what fills

Your heart

and that

means

that I am

filled

with Your heart

Known

The best way to know everything

Is to realize that you know nothing

But that the One who knows all

Knows you

afar

I want to be completely honest

I let go of you the moment I saw you

Because I thought memories may wound me again

Like they sometimes do

Though dreams could never revive my hopes

The way God does

I fear

I do dream about you

Traces

Traces of a life

I've yet to exist

Visit me like a vapor

I strain my neck

To capture its thoughts

And discreetly

They fade away

His Voice

I'm brave beneath the mire, You say
Your trust in me produces fire.
I crave Your mysterious touch
Loving me so much, so much
A rush that quenches my deepest desire

My response has never been so right
To the beauty of the face of love

You have found me beautiful in Your sight

And all is well with my soul.

My God

Life is not love without You

The way it's supposed to be

I adore you with all my heart

My beautiful, amazing, brilliant

Maker of the universe

Minority complex

You are just as confused as I am

Don't pretend you know yourself,

You multi-ethnic mutt

We came to the States as beggars

You and I,

So what, you have an American mom.

Aren't we acting for the same crowd?

Feel pressure to perform, do you?

Go ahead, release it

Feel the artificial warmth

of applause and public recognition

To appease your aching minority complex.

We've all got one

Trust in the Lord, you say

What do you have to bring?

A monologue, I'm sure.

Another round of holy applause for this clown, please

"Find your own voice" he tells me.

A helpful young cheek, this one

I find many to be just as helpful.

To the hidden people, whose histories have

Been exploded out of their compacted intestines

Brains ripped out and compartmentalized

Into this damn society's grid.

There is no use for you in this world as you are now

Don't let the accolade fool you.

And yes, I'm passive aggressive.

Deal with it.

God is Jealous

Would a heart that is frozen

Bitterly flowing

Endless reminders of pain



Dare to believe once again

And be revived by

Your name that is Jealousy

I let her go, but she is still with me

Who you are truly

Is

An honest woman of great beauty,

A wife of noble character,

A source of endless maternity.

You are filled with love

Warmth

Mercy

Kindness, justice, an advocate and a faithful

Pillar.

But you lost your way somehow,

Forgot the beginning of life

Forsook the hope in my eyes

Forfeited the rights to my heart.

I forgive you,

To the Father

Who deals with all in His grace and love

I’m sorry you had missed out

On the truth of who you really are

And the rest of us through you

I will remember all the few moments

We had when

You touched my heart, and we bled together.

Deep inside, I know you are still alive

I know you are with me.

I believe we will be who we are

One day.

Invalid

This is the past I say, dare I say

All in the past no more today I feel

no more

You said, don't feel the past

You said, don't feel

The way you feel anymore

Did you hear my voice I ask?

Did you hear your own?

It's never been this open, I tell you

The truth I am

The truth, I am

the truth

You see

Reluctantly

I was so

Lost in what you forgot to see in me

while I was yours to keep, to reflect your self esteem

That you forgot to cry and recall your past, indeed

That you forgot to believe in me

You forgot to believe

in you in me

While you forgot to feel, you killed my love

My dear you killed my love

You fought the will to bleed

While you forgot what's real, you killed my love, my dear

You killed my love

for you for me

What does He see in me

What design did You build in me?
This longing, misdirected,
Silences all devastating pleas.

What fever did You ignite in me
That I would sequester
My own body parts, a gruesome ordeal?
I'd rather bleed and stagger
Than to stumble out of Your presence.

What pleasure do You find in me
That You would remain faithful
To this faithless heart, my Love?

The first to die will live to last

Death I do, this is my deed
Indeed this death, to life I bleed
I bled to life, when blood I took
And take His life for mine to lead

A hope to end all hopes on earth
A life more final than its own birth
is what I've found, the day I died
I denied myself to find my worth

No more pain, hunger or thirst
No longer orphans, no longer cursed
For the first shall fall behind to last
And the last shall be found as first