Father hope

when I sit here and think about
whether you will ever know
how I felt about you, I would feel a death
Those tired fears exhale gently,
And I'm released.
Strength is the surrender of my soul
to the Lord
to my Lord

the screaming tears are never wet
but they are sweeter than blood
when your wound in me is reopened

I would sacrifice my heart
like you wanted, needed
to make you feel like a man
(you wonder why I would let others)
when your wife could not fulfill that
you could take from three more
three more mothers you would have ravished
to make you whole

Thank God
I am the only one I let you ruin
I say to myself

But it's not enough for my heart to heal
to escape the way I feel
to forget
the heart I had for you before
the yearning and trusting and beautifying
effect your love would have had on me

Would have on me

Has

A tiny, timid, new.....
But I'm afraid to say it