Teleporting from one reality to another

I feel like I'm peeling back layers of poorly designed mindscapes that maps out across my inner being, uprooting archaic infrastructure and replacing it with new. I found myself in a cave at moments when the labor was too intense. A cave with writing on the inner walls like instructions left by a negligent mother who abandoned her child with "soup on the stove", it was comforting to retreat to. I was pretending to be sane, although I believe more people are struggling with mental illness than is perceived by the majority.

I used to find patterns everywhere growing up, secret codes in the numbers and symbols in my environment but unable to decipher the heart behind the system. Every rule took a great labor to enforce within myself, meeting a stubborn resistance to realize its purpose, as though my soul was already being ruled by another governmental system and had no room for another. These rules felt like individual assaults on my very being. I couldn't fathom for the longest time that they were components to a necessary larger infrastructure that needed to be laid out within me to allow myself to function according to the greater fabric of nature and society.

There is a brokenness we are all familiar with, should we choose to fully let ourselves experience it. Could I just fall? I had never trusted the laws of aerodynamics long enough to realize they defied the laws of gravity, and now I am faced with the edge of the world...