One with God

I’m stranger than I ever believed myself to be

Who am I and this raging beast inside of me?

I will trudge on through nights of the starry kind

On a trail that’s hidden from my leery mind

And build Us a lighthouse when the time is right

To guide my fellow sojourners into the light

The fight will subside when I’m in Your arms

Together we’ll be, and forever I’m Yours

The Real Deal

the real deal came up to me and I saw her soul
it shone through the darkness with no effort at all
to free the captives, she had been led through her own
captivity wandered through all the years alone
til stumbled through desert brought her to a throne

she, who finally wanders no longer forsaken
whose trust in her God can no longer be shaken
her eyes could speak louder than a story written or told
they glisten with fire like silver and gold
they behold and behold the beauty of the Lord

Teleporting from one reality to another

I feel like I'm peeling back layers of poorly designed mindscapes that maps out across my inner being, uprooting archaic infrastructure and replacing it with new. I found myself in a cave at moments when the labor was too intense. A cave with writing on the inner walls like instructions left by a negligent mother who abandoned her child with "soup on the stove", it was comforting to retreat to. I was pretending to be sane, although I believe more people are struggling with mental illness than is perceived by the majority.

I used to find patterns everywhere growing up, secret codes in the numbers and symbols in my environment but unable to decipher the heart behind the system. Every rule took a great labor to enforce within myself, meeting a stubborn resistance to realize its purpose, as though my soul was already being ruled by another governmental system and had no room for another. These rules felt like individual assaults on my very being. I couldn't fathom for the longest time that they were components to a necessary larger infrastructure that needed to be laid out within me to allow myself to function according to the greater fabric of nature and society.

There is a brokenness we are all familiar with, should we choose to fully let ourselves experience it. Could I just fall? I had never trusted the laws of aerodynamics long enough to realize they defied the laws of gravity, and now I am faced with the edge of the world...

The Purest

This kind I seek
The slow-to-speak
Whose riches cannot be seen

I hope to meet
Him in discreet
The purest among the keen

Belong

I'm allowed to be free,

Finally allowing myself to feel

This love that belongs to me.

A Secret Garden

There, desires within a secret

Garden

Soberly I seek the strength of your face

I stretch out my life

For Your gentleness

Brand New

I'm a strange rearrangement,
an assortment of esoteric memories
And broken instincts that stutter
a distinct yet familiar beat.

This dark hour of my soul reflects
the world of this hour and
I cannot escape it.
Lonely
Is the jeering silence, fearing
My brave motions towards life.
My heart entangled with lies,
My dance has become, slavery.

Streets strain their necks to hear
the marching steps of a new army
that's coming
like a pack of lions roaring
Making way for a brand new world

Fragile Egos

You can't handle me

That's no problem, we cool

Don't trip honey

We're in this together, a life to remember

Just float on through

Just get through this right.

Over it

I'm going forward damn it

Get out of the way

I'm sick of falling for all of you

False lovers

So I've lost my soul,

Who cares anymore? I've lived it all

to my own destruction

And now I'm deadly

to the lifeless and the sore

I don't care about you all anymore

Time for a New Mind

I'm stained my mind
How long that stayed there, I don't know
But it's taken a while to stick around

I want a new one

A truer mirror

There are endless loops in infinity

So it goes,

A dream I once had, plays over

another dream I once had before, I froze

But I see again my reflection

In a tortured soul like your own,

I see myself deja vu

In yours Staring black tea-stained eyes like mine

hearing the same words I've heard before

Ago, ago, and agos

Why do you revisit me, my old soul?

Through another, like you always would, You would

Reiterate my words, my wounds, my wars

Why do you search for yourself in my soul,

You other?

Feeling, Lord, bring healing to our souls.

Restore us unto the image which we bear

In truth, in Your story

Don't be worried, please. don't be sorry

My brother, my sister, my foe

His image is yours, you are His glory, it is yours.

To behold

FIGHT the urge to judge; she is finding her own canvas

Jesus

Lost in Her Mind

can we find her? the beautiful one

she's nowhere to be found

she's the little one who's gotten lost inside her own mind

I want a friend that sees the freedom that I do

I'm no schizo but a pro

I'm revisiting an old site, filled with land mines

They are silent when they sting

but triumphant as a fearless foe

I've begun to reintroduce to myself the

revelations of old, the Renaissance of reinvention

Renovated the dollar bill

into a sacred mold.

A cipher I've decided,

She is a silent pro

digy diligent, masking her authority

Mindscapes and heroine capes

Flying through a ferocious escape

makes no mistakes

breaks former fakes

Because I'm not lying about my mental escapades.

Just hidden too far down

but eventually find my laugh, spirit-filled.

Glory to the Host

I've witnessed a barrage of westerners

Winging their way into a self-glorified state

of accomplishment,

But they haven't yet dealt with the histories

which their empire is built upon

the bloodstain cries of massacres

And exploitation.

I'm a raw mind now, but these are ideas

you've never thought of

yet

Until they become PROFITABLE to you.

(I'm speaking now) To the host.

Don't it always happen this way.

Anger is a Secondary Emotion

Fine, I'm angry enough to change

I'm settled enough to jump off

I'm free enough to cry

Finally, I'm being myself again.

we're all the same

I'm not that different from you

but you are different from me

I'm not who you think I am

but you are who you think you are What makes

us different from anyone else on the planet?

That one ill girl, she had rashes on her mind

But you still feel she is less than you

You fools

There are no original ideas

Only a perverted sense of ego

a Fair Trade

sometimes, I feel cheated.

that the only

thing I got out of

years

of agony

and hidden

pain

is compassion but then I

remember

that compassion is what fills

Your heart

and that

means

that I am

filled

with Your heart

Known

The best way to know everything

Is to realize that you know nothing

But that the One who knows all

Knows you

afar

I want to be completely honest

I let go of you the moment I saw you

Because I thought memories may wound me again

Like they sometimes do

Though dreams could never revive my hopes

The way God does

I fear

I do dream about you